You hate this movie already.
You’ve read the angry fan rants about the new look Turtles, you’ve heard the bad “alien” script press, and you’ve probably already made your fair share of Michael Bay explosion jokes. All of this with only a hint of what this upcoming Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie could be. I get it, trust me I do. I’ve made enough Michael Bay jokes to last a lifetime. I actually read that leaked script. I saw a couple of those TMNT set shots. Things aren’t looking great for our fearsome foursome. At least if you’re an adult who grew up in the 80s-90s…
… but this movie isn’t for us. Seriously. The Ninja Turtle brand hasn’t been aimed at us for a while. We’re old folks. We’re those 20-30 somethings who love our nerdy things, but Nickelodeon’s demo we are not. Can’t put your finger on why you hated the look of those TOYS that got leaked? Maybe ask your folks what they thought of those squishy headed green lizard frog action figures you begged them for Christmases and Birthdays, year after year. Did you read that they actually ditched that “alien” Ninja Turtles script? Or that it was just a really really rough first draft? Or maybe even *shock* a fake? And of course you knew already that Michael Bay isn’t actually directing this film, merely helping financially support it (and subsequently make money off of it). The guy behind Battlefield: LA is directing it, and his visually strong style might actually be good for a movie about kung-fu reptiles. Really though, how could his artistic vision for the TMNT ever match up the Oscar winning writing and direction of the original films anyways? Why should anyone even bother trying to reaching up to the genius that was the previous films, cartoons, music tours, and cross-promotional material.
You, me, and everybody on the internet need to take a step back from our beloved franchise(s), maybe take off those rose-coloured glasses, and see what the Ninja Turtles for what they really are: an entertainment brand for KIDS. That’s not to say we as old folks (yes I called you old, get used to it) can’t enjoy the franchise, past and present, but come on people, don’t ruin it for the tykes. Who knows, those young ones might, in a search for more Turtles, come across the really good, and ongoing Cartoon series on YTV or the fun to read yet semi-serious Comic Book. Or maybe you’ll get lucky and they’ll want to watch that 80s-90s cartoon box set with you.
And wouldn’t that be a GOOD thing? More people (young, old, or otherwise) finding a new way to the group of four Turtles we all enjoy. A busted up, regurgitated, explosiony gateway to something awesome is still a gateway to something awesome.
So maybe stop hating on this movie already?